


A Piece of Cake

by seleenermparis



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Cake, Birthday Presents, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 18:46:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seleenermparis/pseuds/seleenermparis
Summary: Happy Birthday, Commander Jane Shepard! Here is a little short short for your reading pleasure.





	A Piece of Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Insert standard ownership legal crapola here.

Garrus Vakarian frowned at the black, chard mess before him. He could now conclude he was not the baking type. Sure give him a large sniper rifle and he could have it disassembled, cleaned, and reassembled in no time at all. However, it seemed this simple domestic skill was beyond him. Staring at what should have been a chocolate cake, he groaned. That was supposed to be his birthday gift to Jane.

The mess chef had insisted it was her favorite flavor which is why he chose to make it. The brown color could have hidden any light charing that would have occured to light overbaking, He doubted; however, the deep peat charcoal of what should have been a cake it was now really could hidden. Even with the chocolate frosting he had the chef make before excusing himself for the evening. The round cake was now what Jane called, a very large hockey puck. 

Annoyed, he grabbed the flour container and set it down a little harder than he should have. The white, powdery substance went everywhere. The counters, the floor, the sink, and himself. Growling, he picked up the washcloth and began to wipe the mess up before he continued his second attempt at his project. Before he got too far into his clean-up, hysterical laughing came from the kitchen doorway. "Oh my, God!"

The voice belonged to the last person he wanted to see make this surprise, let alone see him covered in flour. The birthday girl herself was holding her sides, laughing so hard she exclaimed. "Fuck, I think I just peed myself."

Her hysterics continued even as she came over to him. He really wasn't finding this amusing. "It's not funny."

"I beg to differ." She finally managed as she tried to calm down. She noted his apron and asked. "What are you doing?"

A blush would have crossed his face, that is if Turians could blush. "I _was_ hoping to surprise you with a gift, but I guess that's out the window."

"What were you trying to make?"

"A chocolate cake. Dr. Chakwas suggested the cake and chef helped with the frosting."

"Ah," She looked down at the burnt offering. "What went wrong?"

"Got distracted. Got to thinking about you wearing nothing. All wet and ready for me. It was a blaze when it came out."

"Sorry I missed that." She smirked. "Want some help?"

"Not much of a gift if you help out."

"Nonsense. It's still a great gift. This time, I get the added bonus of spending some time with you."

"Alright. Grab and apron then. You can help me clean up once you come back over here."

"Sure. Be back in a jiffy."

"What's a jiffy?" The Turian called over his shoulder. When she didn't respond, he assumed she hadn't heard him.  Several moments passed, longer than he expected for one to put on a simple apron. He was just about to go after her then he felt her arms snake around him. "What took you so long?"

He turned around and the next words from his mouth didn't make coherent sense. Standing before him was a very, very naked Commander Jane Shepard; in save of her black g-string and an apron. In her hands she held a wooden spoon. "Care to give me my birthday spanking, first?"

A delicious grin crossed his mandible. "Birthday spanking, huh? I don't think I'm accustomed to this tradition. Tell me about it."

"Oh, I think you'll find you will like it, but not as much as me of course." She bit her lip seductively and that was enough for the former C-Sec detective to pick her up to carry her back to their cabin. Garrus decided that this birthday was going to be one for the books.

 

***

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, yes. I know this is a short short, but considering I wrote this in a matter of 15 minutes (because why not). However, does this mean it's a booty short? All things considering, I think we might be able to call this that. *giggles*


End file.
